Few ideas have gained more traction among leaders in recent years than the need for employee appreciation and recognition. In 2022, Gallup found that just 19% of senior leaders viewed employee recognition as a major strategic priority. By 2024, that number more than doubled to 42%. During the same period, the employee recognition software industry ballooned to $19 billion and is projected to reach nearly $50 billion by 2035. Organizations have launched appreciation weeks, deployed peer-to-peer praise platforms with redeemable perks, and introduced values-based awards. Yet despite the attention and investment, workers persistently report feeling undervalued. Most say they don’t receive the right amount of recognition for the work they do; over half report feeling “only somewhat valued” or “not valued at all”; and 55% of U.S. employees don’t receive meaningful recognition. So, what’s missing? The Power of Affirmation In my research on mattering and how people feel significant at work, I asked a simple question: “When do you most feel that you matter?” Most respondents didn’t mention awards, rewards, perks, or pay increases. Instead, they described brief yet consistent interactions with leaders who highlighted their strengths, pointed out the downstream impact of their efforts, or reminded them how their everyday contributions were needed. These aren’t examples of generic appreciation or recognition. They’re experiences of specific affirmation—having one’s unique qualities and impact noticed, named, and validated. For leaders, the distinction is crucial: Appreciation values someone’s presence and role. It communicates: “I’m grateful you’re here.” Recognition spotlights someone’s contribution. It communicates: “I see what you did.” Affirmation validates how someone makes a unique difference. It communicates: “I see how only you could have done it.” All three matter, but appreciation and recognition are often conveyed through generalized gestures such as awards, events, or programs, whereas affirmation is delivered through specific, personalized interactions. And what I’ve learned in my work is that for many employees, the daily experience of feeling valued is missing. Affirmation is powerful because humans have an inherent need to feel unique. Classic experiments by psychologists C.R. Snyder and Howard Fromkin show that people who perceive themselves as distinct relative to others experience greater meaning, satisfaction, and self-esteem. Social psychologist Christina Maslach termed this need individuation, a requirement for feeling that we matter. Our drive for uniqueness is why we dismiss generic praise, and why perks, awards, or appreciation events on their own rarely create lasting engagement. People need genuine relationships with leaders who give them evidence that their presence makes a difference. The Skills of Affirmation The good news is that leaders can learn the interpersonal skills they need to deliver regular, valuable affirmation. It requires them to notice and name people’s unique gifts, show them the difference they make, and deliver meaningful gratitude that validates their distinct impact. Let’s explore each in turn. Notice and Name Unique Gifts A mentor once told me, “You can’t read the label when you’re inside the jar.” His comment highlights the role of others, especially leaders, in illuminating what we may not yet see in ourselves. Psychologists call this process reflected appraisals—the signals we interpret from others that construct our self-beliefs. To build the belief that we’re valued, we must experience consistent evidence of how we’re valued. Leaders can start by noticing and naming four everyday gifts each person brings: strengths, purpose, perspective, and wisdom. Strengths are what someone loves to do and what they’re good at. As you observe your team members, consider: When they’re at their best, what are they doing? In what contexts are they most energized? What do others ask them for help with? Purpose is someone’s unique impact on a group. How do they use their strengths to make a difference for the team? What do they care about making better? What’s missing when they’re not there? Perspective is the way someone sees work and the world based on their experience. Do they tend to notice possibilities, constraints, or risks? Do they ask more how, what, or why questions? What do they notice that others overlook? Wisdom is what someone has learned from living their life. What’s something only they can teach the team? What experiences have shaped how they see the world, and how do they use that to affect the group? What lessons about the work can they share based on their career or life experience? You can then share what you’ve discovered with each team member using phrases like, “I can see one of your strengths is…” “You make this team better by…” “Your perspective really helps us when…” “Your experience really guides us when…” and so on. Show People the Difference They Make Several years ago, I met an area supervisor who had recently been assigned to lead a team of maintenance workers in a remote national park. The team had long struggled with low morale and high turnover. But under the new supervisor’s leadership, engagement survey scores soared, turnover dropped, and job applications increased. When I asked about what he did, he held up his phone. Each week, he took photos of projects his team worked on: visitors using a repaired bridge, families using a new trail, or a fixed restroom reopening, reducing long lines. Then every Friday morning, he attached the photos to an email and sent it to his team with the subject line: “Look what you did!” “My team can’t question whether they matter,” he joked. “I give them photographic proof.” Leaders skilled at affirmation give people proof of their unique impact. Research indicates this type of affirmation drives increased motivation, performance, and productivity. To show people the difference they make: Collect examples of how your people make a unique impact. These examples should be ones that you have personally noticed. One leader I worked with in the retail industry has a note on her phone titled “Story Bank.” At the end of each day, she reflects on how her team members have made a difference for her, one another, or for their customers, and then documents these stories. Create a cadence of sharing stories of significance. Schedule time to share the stories of significance you’ve gathered. While doing this in scheduled meetings and one-on-ones can be powerful, the people I’ve interviewed recall small, unexpected instances where a leader showed them the difference they made. For example, an unscheduled phone call simply to tell someone that you noticed their impact or forwarding a customer or client’s positive feedback directly can go a long way. Use affirming language. When you do share the impact people make, use language that reminds the person of their impact. Phrases like “I noticed that…” or “You may think it’s small, but it made a difference when you…” or “If it weren’t for you…” signal to people that you see both the act and its effect. Often, we can’t see our downstream impact unless someone reveals it to us. Leaders who create cultures where people feel valued move beyond simply telling people that they make a difference. They consistently show them exactly how they make a difference. Give Meaningful Gratitude The people I’ve interviewed who report feeling valued at work also tell me they receive a special kind of gratitude beyond a simple “thank you” or “good job.” They’re given gratitude that shows them what they did, how they did it, and why it mattered. Meaningful gratitude includes four components: Details: Where was it? And when? Who was there? For example, instead of, “Thanks for coming to the meeting yesterday,” you might try, “Do you remember toward the middle of the meeting yesterday when the group seemed stuck?” Behaviors: Name specific actions. You might say, “You went to the whiteboard and asked each person to clarify their perspective and wrote it down…” Gifts: Name the unique gifts they modeled. Remember the four gifts of strengths, purpose, perspective, and wisdom. You could say, “You used your ability to integrate ideas—something people consistently rely on you for…” Impact: Show them the impact they made. You might finish with, “Afterward, the team left energized, and I saw them brainstorming in the hallway.” This form of gratitude gives people the one thing most symbols of appreciation and recognition don’t: evidence of their significance. A Culture of Affirmation Building a culture of affirmation requires leaders to model these practices, equip all managers to do the same, and regularly evaluate whether employees genuinely feel valued through their daily interactions. Remember, each time a leader offers someone clear evidence of their significance, they strengthen that person’s belief that they matter. And when people feel that they matter, they act like they matter. They engage, commit, and stay.
